I swear this is my new puppy. She is officially possessed by rotten demons and I am looking for a priest to come and preform the exorcism. I followed the little shit around the house yesterday so she couldn’t poop in the house. She got back at me for sure. She just didn’t poop at all and sat there miserable to get back at me and make me feel awful. She was happily obliged to pee all over my floor last night a couple of times though. Gotta love having a possessed baby!
On a lighter note my fat ass is craving fried food. I never eat food like that but I could seriously take down a whole chicken right now. I could go for a whole pan of tater tots, a whole fried chicken, and then a bag of chocolate. Oh wait, I already ate the whole bag of chocolate while at work today. The perks of having students that love you is they bring you candy, the bad thing is your ass grows. They warned me about the 20 pounds I was going to gain but I thought they were lying. I see now that I am going for 50!
I just have not been inspired lately. I usually have some great blog stuff but all I really have to write about is stupid people. Maybe I will run with that one?
When a girl says maybe you should take me out, that means ask me out and I will say yes. Men have horrific timing. They do not understand that a woman will not fall over them in the first five minutes of meeting them. It takes time. And guys if you’re reading this, put away your vulgar card. Win her heart with polite things to say with no mention of what you would like to do with your penis and her. That is totally gross. If you can’t say nice things, keep your mouth shut and just smile. She will know what you’re thinking but a woman much rather know what you’re thinking than actually hear it come out of your mouth. Save the dirty talk for later.
That brings me back to a conversation I overheard earlier. Let me spell this one out for you….
“Sup baby” (guy)
“Hey boo” (girl)
“What you doin later?” (This guy really thinks he has game. He has on a pink shirt poppin his collar, with green shorts, and some gold ass shoes. This is the pic a girl would pull off photobucket, send it to another girl, and make fun of it.)
“I don’t know.” (She bats her eyelashes)
“K. I will holla at cha later. Me and the boys are going out for some drinks.”
“Ok. Well, I guess I will talk to you later.”
The poor girl walked away with her head down totally disappointed. Guys, please do not ask what a girl is doing that night unless you have plans to ask her out. Otherwise you fit into the “Dick-wad” category. That’s right, I pulled out my vulgar card there! It just leads a girl on. Don’t get me wrong either, a girl will mess with a guys head too. It’s just sad. I wanted to grab that guy by his ear and pull him back over and explain what he just did. You know that girl got her hopes up and she heard, “I am interested, but I need to know where you’re gonna be tonight so I don’t run into you with this other girl I am taking out tonight”. People play so many mind games. Just say what you think. Life is too short to play those guessing games.
So I got some neighbor drama going on too. This guy who is 45 lives with his 22 year old girl friend who is his baby’s mama. She up and left with the baby and no one has seen her for weeks now. I barely see him there either. You would think he would have his kid though from time to time. No one has seen the baby either. I am seriously starting to wonder if he dumped her in the river or something. Could I be living across from a serial killer and not even know it? He hasn’t even had his other kids over. Something creepy is going on with that one! I think I need to go nail my windows shut so he can’t steal me in the middle of the night and throw me in the river too! (Like how my mind works?)
