WELL EVERYONE, I HATE TO SAY IT, BUT I HAVE A BAD CASE OF THE WHAT IF’S. LATELY LIFE IS THROWING THINGS AT ME AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO WITH ALL OF IT.
I HAD TO MAKE A VERY HARD DECISION TODAY THAT KILLED ME. ONE OF MY FRIENDS IS HAVING SOME PERSONAL PROBLEMS AND I HAVE BEEN THERE FOR HER THROUGH THE WHOLE THING. I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN TOLD TO STAY OUT OF OTHER PEOPLE’S MARITAL PROBLEMS SO I HAVE BEEN TRYING HARD TO DO SO. IT HAS GOTTEN TO THE POINT WHERE I AM INVOLVED AND I HAD TO END THE FRIENDSHIP BECAUSE OF IT. THIS IS MY BEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WORLD AND IT IS KILLING ME. I CAN’T LIVE WITH THE FACT THAT HER MARRIAGE COULD CRUMBLE THOUGH AND HER HUBBY IS GOING TO BLAME ME. HE IS THAT KIND OF PERSON. THIS IS LIKE LOSING MY SISTER. I DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW A MAN CAN BLAME YOU FOR ISSUES WITH HIS WIFE. THIS IS SO HEAVY ON MY HEART.
I WAS HAVING SOME PROBLEMS AT WORK, BUT LUCKILY THOSE WERE WORKED OUT. WE WILL SEE IF I GET MY HAPPY ENDING WITHIN THE NEXT COUPLE OF WEEKS. I WISH I COULD SAY MORE, BUT I WILL HAVE A NEW BLOG ABOUT THAT IN A COUPLE OF WEEKS.
I HAVE BEEN DOUBTING MYSELF AND MY PAST DECISIONS LATELY TOO. THAT IS NOT LIKE ME. I LIVE IN THE MOMENT AND NOT IN THE PAST. I HAVE BEEN LIVING IN THE PAST FOR TWO MONTHS NOW. ALL I CAN THINK OF IS WHAT IF I DID THIS OR THAT? WOULD MY LIFE BE DIFFERENT? WOULD I HAVE WHAT I WANT? NOW I AM WONDERING IF I HAVE WHAT I WANT AND I DON’T REALIZE IT. IT SOUNDS COMPLICATED WHEN I PUT IT LIKE THAT. MAYBE THAT IS WHY MY BRAIN IS SO CONFUSED. HOW DO WE EVER KNOW IF WE ARE MAKING THE RIGHT DECISIONS IN LIFE? I ALWAYS PRAY ON THE HARD DECISIONS, BUT WHAT IF I AM PICKING THE WRONG PATH FOR MYSELF? I WISH THERE WAS SOME SURE WAY TO KNOW I AM DOING THINGS RIGHT. THAT IS WHERE MY WHAT IF’S COME INTO PLAY.
SO MANY PEOPLE KNOW WHAT THEY WANT IN LIFE. HERE I AM JUST PLUGGING ALONG AND I FEEL AS IF I AM GOING NO WHERE. I HAVE NO DESIRE TO BE MARRIED OR HAVE CHILDREN SO THAT LEAVES ME WITH A CAREER TO CONCENTRATE ON. I CAN’T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I WANT OUT OF LIFE AT THIS POINT. I KNOW I AM STILL YOUNG, BUT LIFE GOES BY QUICK. WHAT IF I AM SITTING HERE AND LETTING IT PASS ME BY?
