I really think it is time to go back to work. I am going crazy being at home. I think I have seriously ran out of things to do. I know there is always cleaning to be done and laundry, but I want to have some fun. All my friends are at work or sick so here I sit all alone writing. Although the past two days have been very eventful, I feel as if a part of me is really unhappy.
I have a friend who lost her husband and she is not coping well and he passed a year ago. She has two children at home and I feel sorry for them that they not only lost their father, they are now losing their mother. It breaks my heart to sit back and watch it, but you can’t help some one that won’t help themselves. She is also the type that gets mad at everything that you say to her if it is not what she wants to hear. Sadly I had to let her go from my life. I can’t cope with it. I don’t know if this makes me a weak person or not, but I can’t sit back and be treated badly because she is mad at the world. So I guess I have lost a friend that has really meant a lot to me over the years.
I also have another friend who is going through an abusive marriage. She has two little babies and she is lost. She is standing up though and trying to do what she thinks is best.
My heart is just so heavy with sadness for everyone. Occasionally I wish I could go back to being 5 years old and not have a care in the world. But then I remember that I wouldn’t be able to drive and escape from everyone if need be. I don’t understand why I have to be the shoulder to lean on for other people? I am not as strong as I come off. It’s amazing that people think that of me though and I am honored. I just wish there was a way for me to take away the pain and suffering my friends and family have to endure in their lives.
On a happier note I had my oral surgery yesterday and things went well. I am swollen and in pain, but I now have a tooth. Also I start work Monday morning which excites me so! The sad thing is I got so chunky I had to go out and buy new clothes for work. I tried on a shirt I bought two months ago. I barely got it buttoned and I’ll be damned if a button didn’t fly off and head straight for my dog’s eye. I thought we were going for some emergency eye surgery that night. I guess I have to look at the plus side though (no pun intended) I got to buy new clothes and my dog still has her eyes.
